My 39-year-old boyfriend has been puttin’ the bump back in my trunk. But he’s borrowing little blue pills from his uncle and friends. Is this safe?

It’s never safe to take medication that isn’t prescribed for you and bought from a reputable pharmacy. Guys taking erectile-dysfunction drugs, such as Viagra, for recreational use can develop priapism—a three-dollar word for a painful hard-on that lasts for hours and could lead to permanent impotence. “In 90 percent of men, erectile disorder is caused by hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol or heart disease, which damage the penis’ small arteries,” says Gerald Hoke, MD, chief of urology at Harlem Hospital. Smoking, drinking, drug abuse and antidepressants can also jinx the jimmy. Tell your man to get a checkup, watch his diet and hit the gym.

I don’t mind a little role play, but my husband wants me to dress like a ho in a Skittles-colored wig and striplettos! I say no, but he thinks I’m uptight. Am I?
 
Role-playing can heat things up in the bedroom. But many women are asked to do things that make them uncomfortable. “The most frightening thing is when people go along with a partner’s fantasy and it evolves into oppressive behavior that scares them,” says Los Angeles sex therapist, Gail Wyatt, PhD. If you’re not feeling the getup, speak up! Negotiate alternatives you’re comfortable with, like a sexy push-up bra or stripping barefoot. Don’t put on a performance to save a relationship that’s on the fizzle fuh shizzle—and wilding out in the bedroom doesn’t mean throwing out your ground rules about safe sex and condoms. Wyatt says,“Many people do humiliating things they can’t forgive themselves for after the relationship ends.” Don’t be one of them!