Since this is like my second blog entry for Real Health it’s like a first date. So I thought treating it like a first date would be a creative way to introduce myself to readers. I put out the question to my friends on email, text and of course Facebook and asked them what is a question they would like to ask on a first date. Some of the questions were good while some could be expanded on. If you’d like to share a question that you would like to ask, please make a comment to this blog entry.

To help you see what separates me from other dating advisors like Steve Harvey, Michael Baisden and Michele Callahan I took the questions from my friends and added some from my book 20 Soul Questions: For a Better Relationship (plug warning) and added them below.

1. How many times have you been married? I’ve been married once and that’s good enough for me.
2. How many children do you have? I have two children.
3. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 17 but I didn’t understand what I was doing until a couple of years later. My first few times were wack an embarrassment to the art.
4. Have you ever had an STD? Never! thank God. I called myself condom man.
5. Have you ever cheated on a girlfriend? Nope. I mustered the nerve to break up with the girls I was dating if I found myself looking around or not happy in the relationship.
6. How many brothers and sister’s do you have? I’m an only child and I’m just starting to like it.
7. Who should your wife not leave you alone with? Kasha oh and that Mexican reporter chick who went in the Jets locker room. Lol
8. How many girlfriend did you have before you got married? I had five girlfriends and I never dated or was intimate with two girls at the same time.
9. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yes, I had my first heartbreak at 30 years old right before I got married. But unlike what people think I took full responsibility for my pain.
10. What do you do for fun? My favorite activity is going to the movies. I like bowling, playing video games with my son and being with friends and family. My wife may say working is my favorite hobby.
11. What did you major in in college? I got a degree in Management Science and collateral in African Studies.
12. Why did you become a dating coach? I thought I could help people because my personal dating experience was pleasurable and not a collection of bad experiences. I wanted to use my path and dating activities to help people avoid the stressful experiences that lead to unhappy marriages, single families and drama. Plus I didn’t want to be a marriage counselor talking to people who should have never gotten married in the first place.
13. What’s your favorite season of the year? I love the summer in most cities but in South Florida the whole year is the bomb.
14. What kind of car do you drive? Honda Odyssey but my dream car is a Jeep Wrangler.
15. What physical characteristic do you like most about women? Smile, booty and legs. Oh and neck.
16. What do you like most about your wife? Personality and all the things above.
17. Why did your last relationship end? I realized we weren’t right for each other.
18. What are you looking for in date? When I was dating the most important thing I looked for was a personal connection and feeling of inspiration.
19. How often do you see your mother and father? When my parents were alive I saw them every other day. My parents were my best friends.
20. What is one thing you’d like to improve about yourself? My income. Lol. Okay My Spanish because my wife is Dominican and I’d like to converse with her mother better.

So there are my top 20 questions. One question I liked to ask people I couldn’t really ask myself. I like to check a person’s dating history so I like to ask “why is a beautiful person like you doing single?” That question allows me to figure out if I’m on a date with someone judgmental or too choosy or a workaholic. My questions are different from some of the questions my friends suggested. Here are some of the questions that didn’t make my list and why.

How many kids do you have? I think this question is very presumptuous. This assumes that everybody has a child. And because this question was asked by a female it presumes that every man has a child. Sorry to bust the bubble of all my sisters but every single man doesn’t have a bunch of children. Finally, what difference does it make. I’ve dated women with children and I married a woman with a child and what was important was how the situation was managed. How the other parent of the child relates to the family and how the person your dating is parenting. I think dating a person with a child gives you a sneak peek of what kind of parent they are and would be to your child.

What’s your credit score? I think this question is weak because credit scores don’t tell a full picture of what kind of money manager a person is. They could have had their credit score messed up by forces outside of their control or being kind to a family member. So rather than ask them this question take time to get to learn their spending and saving habits based on their income.

Are you rich? As silly as this question is people really want to know how much money the people they are dating have. Some people choose who they date based on how much money people have. We call those people Gold Diggers or shallow.

Do you have any debt? How much? This isn’t as bad as the other money related questions. Its not what their credit score is, it is why is it the number it is.

ARE YOU ON ANY MEDICATIONS? I think this question would be a complete waste of time. I do think it is important to learn the health condition of the people you are interested in. I just think a better way to find out is to observe them and maybe ask a friendly question like have you every been sick or had to go in the hospital. This is a hard question to ask because it’s easy to lie.

What are your aspirations? This question was given to me by one of my high school friends. One of my comedians name Mugga had a funny joke related to this question. She said she is 30 years old and when she is on a date with a guy who says I’m going to be this or that she would say “you 33 years old you are what your going to be.” I think that is wrong but I do think it is funny. My feeling about asking this question is who is going to say I have no aspirations or I plan on being a failure. I better way to find out if the person you are on a date with is going to be a success is to ask them what are they working towards now or what their hobbies and interests are.

One of the best questions I got from one of my friends is the last question I would like to answer myself.

What do you think about the state of Black America? I think a lot has changed in the world of civil rights for Black America since the election of President Obama. I feel with a Blackman in the White House Black people can focus more on internal issues like health, parenting and of course male/female relations.

As always I hope you enjoy this blog entry. Please make comments I’d love to hear your thoughts. For more information on me please email me at coachyojeff@gmail.com