Okay its with much reservation but pleasure that I write this blog and take on this very sensitive issue. I am a firm believer that our society’s over emphasis on sex is a major cause of the problems we are having with male/female relationships and marriage. When I was 25 years old I decided to try celibacy. It was during the time Magic Johnson had revealed he had contracted HIV through sexual infidelity. His announcement set a firestorm throughout the single and especially the African American community. People were reevaluating the importance of premarital sex. Sexual addiction becomes a household term. So, I was under the false assumption that sex was too important in my life and it controlled the women I dated. I felt I was on a course to not only have a child out of wedlock but if I wasn’t able to control my sexual appetite I would get AIDS myself. During the three years I was celibate where I got a better understanding of what pornography was, how much pornography there is around us and what it does to us. See having gone without sex for a long time my sensitivity was much higher than it had been since I had lost my virginity. My newfound sensitivity allowed me to pick up on the amount of porn we are bombarded with everyday. The old saying that you can’t see the forest for the trees was perfect analogy to describe my new found awareness. Celebacy took me out of the pornography forest and boy was I able to see the forest.

Pornography is any picture, writing or film designed to arouse sexual excitement. Pornography is not always as hardcore skin flicks and nudy magazines it can be a common as looking sexy or reading a Zane book (the author Zane) or a vampire romance novel. I remember when people just wanted to look good. Now everybody tries to look sexy. What is sexy? The dictionary defines sexy as arousing or intended to arouse sexual interest or desire. When you understand what pornography and sexy really is then you can understand why our dating couples and our married people are having so many problems with sex, sexual satisfaction and sexual commitment.

The dictionary defines poison as a chemical substance that causes injury or illness. I think when you combine the amount of sex related crimes with the nonviolent drama that is caused by sexual related issues it is not hard to see pornography as a poison. Everything has to be sexy. Cars and liquor are called sexy in TV commercials and print ads. Even our young children suffer from being exposed to porn. We made jokes about the effects of porn on young boys when I was in middle school. We called it ADIDAS which stood for All Day I Dream About Sex. In one of my April blogs I asked “how old or young should a girl before it is okay for her to dress sexy?” The problem is that there is so much porn around us we don’t even notice the effects on us.

So, since there are already a lot of conservative groups protesting strip clubs and other forms of porn I decided to help people understand what effect pornography is having on them so they can start to fight the poison of pornography in themselves. These is things I feel come from what I call high porn. High porn is watching skin flicks or reading erotic literature. Low porn is watching a TV ad describing a car as sexy or sexy clothing including anything from high heels (which raise the female butt to a sexually desirable stimulating position) to wearing a push up bra. Low porn supports high porn. Low porn helps maintain sexual interest but is not a major problem in and of itself but Low porn is also a gateway to high porn which is the real problem. What makes high pornography such a problem is that most people feel it is inappropriate to talk about sex in general. They don’t talk to their parents, good trusted friends or even religious figures about basic human reproduction let alone orgasisms and foreplay. So, therefore many people learn how to have sex from the books they read and movies they watch. I do not need to tell you that these movies are huge distortions. The books are fantasies where sexually deprived and sheltered authors live vicariously through their characters. In defense of these books and movies their extreme portrayal of sex is what makes them so popular. Here are five things that high pornography does to people.

1. It clouds people’s judgment on what other people like to do when having sex either consciously or subconsciously.
2. It gives people false expectations and misconceptions of sexual pleasure.
3. It makes people forget about foreplay and the emotional connection of sexual intimacy.
4. Its shows sex as an activity with no emotional connection.
5. The images of size, purposeless acrobatics and duration of sex are false and misconstrued.
Pornography is all around American society, everything is “sexy” now a days and we wonder why we are so perverted. Before you argue with me and say we are not perverted you first have to define what is a normal healthy relationship with sex. One of the dictionary’s definitions of pervert is one who practices a deviant form of sexual behavior. My argument is our society is so messed up we don’t even know what a deviant form of sexual behavior is. Is it paying for sex? Is it selling your sex? Is it having multiple sexual partners? Is it having sex three times a day? Is it having sex toys? Is it having it to young? What is too young to have sex? Is it with the same sex? What is it?

If you have answers post them here. I’d like to know.