“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” - Rollo May
Last month was a rough one for me. Physically, I was about the same. Emotionally, I was a wreck.
I was basically doing all the things I should not do. That includes, constantly thinking of activities I can no longer participate in. The more I thought, the more I cried. At first it was behind my husband’s back. Then it was right in front of him. I couldn’t control my emotions. I couldn’t hide the anguish any longer. I began to believe that MS was taking over my life. The pain was ringing in my head non-stop.
I consider this a personal low. I’m not proud of my behavior. I should have known something was up when I lost interest in the pastimes that keep me going and motivated.
But finally, I took a real look at myself. I focused on what was happening to me and I saw a depressed person.
How could I miss this? It’s simple Psych 101.
Thankfully, my husband suggested I visit my psychiatrists. So the next day I did. He increased one of my medications, but I still have some personal work to do.
The social worker I see, suggested I find something to keep me busy. I remembered that I already have that here with you guys. So I’ve come full circle, running with open arms, back to my online family. I’m right back where I started, but now I’m healthier and happier.
And I’m taking it, one day at a time.
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