“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~ Unknown

I came across this quote at such a crucial juncture on my MS-laden journey. Before then I had no direction and I was not sure where my life was headed. MS overshadowed me. It had led me to inconceivable places and situations.

That simple sentence helped me to redirect my course. I realize now that acceptance is something that I’ll be doing over and over again. Like steadily peeling off the layers of an onion.

But even with over 15 years of experience, sometimes I find myself going off course. Once I realize what is happening I try to get back on track. I have to overcome my childish demeanor, which is usually fueled by anger and sadness. Unfortunately this behavior steers me miles away from the island of acceptance I am continuously headed toward.

In my consistent search for serenity, I’ve learned it’s not a stagnate place. It moves. And always seems to elude me.

Even when I thought I owned it. When I thought I was there. When I was standing right in its midst, I looked around and no longer recognized myself.

Serenity is a state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. Almost the total opposite of what I’ve been living due to my unwanted companion. How can I accept this? Why should I embrace this life?

Because it’s the only one I have.

I can’t trade it in. At my lowest point if I need to rest, then indeed I shall stop and rest. In fact, if I can be proactive and not let it get to that point that would be even better! What I know for sure is that I’m drifting closer to that oasis called serenity. Closer yet again to acceptance of what is. No matter how different it may be from what I want or planned.