My people how have you all been? It has been too long and for the couple of people who read my blog I’d like to say I am sorry. There has been a lot going on both good and bad. I really don’t know where to begin. But I guess it may be better if we can start with the bad and lead up to the good .

This shit is so embarrassing, but I have to vent somewhere, so why not to my people. I got married last June 3rd and it’s something that I am grateful for, and I thank God for such a special and amazing wife, who by the way is gorgeous, sexy and beautiful. (Yes, I may be biased.) Anyway, all of a sudden I am having problems with performing when we are intimate together. The bottom line is this: My d--k won’t get hard! This is something that came on suddenly and out of nowhere.

I had been taking the same meds for over 20 years and then I got a new nurse practitioner and she changed my meds. I’m not saying that’s the reason; I’m looking into the other meds that I take also. Oh check this out, the erectile dysfunction meds do not work either.

The other thing is the transformation of my body. I’m 212 pounds after weighing 176 for the last 25 years. It’s all in my stomach and has me looking like I’m pregnant. Now, I’ll own part of that because since “that” other problem started I have been depressed and I’ve not been active and eating unhealthy. So, knowing that this is partially my fault is more digestible, but the erectile dysfunction is a conspiracy against people living with HIV/AIDS. (Just kidding, but that’s just something I wanted to say for so many years, even though I know it’s not true.)

Now let’s talk about what’s good, great and outstanding! As you all know I married the most amazing woman and that’s still the highlight of my life. I enrolled and attend classes at Grand Canyon University where I’m working on my Bachelors of Science in Counseling with an emphasis in addiction.

Another highlight is that five months ago I started work at the best job in the world. I work for the Community Access Bronx ACT Team. There is nothing I love more than being in service, helping others and watching people thrive just from being given care, understanding and concern from people who genuinely want to see them do well.

Overall, I am grateful for life and I really don’t have anything to bitch about (accept my get up problem) which might be fixed with sleep, diet and exercise. HIV is so far gone in my mind it’s crazy. Being a long-term survivor has its advantages one being that I’m still here and healthy. My anti-viral status may be the best thing that has ever happened to me and it’s given me the focus that I needed to move my life in the direction that I did. Some may find that hard to believe but it is what it is.

Everyone take care, keep your heads up and remember this piece of advice that I got from someone: “Don’t trade what you want most for what you want in the moment!”

Peace, holler at me!